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9471 3ee6 500

gallusrostromegalus:

screaming-towards-apotheosis:

Hey @gallusrostromegalus i feel like you could math this out because, bread Jesus

That is amazingly confident of you to think I can do math, but let me try.

So, according to the nurtritional info on the back of Broadman Church Brand commuion wafers, a singer wafer/serving is 0.32 grams or 0.0007 lbs.  We therefore need 10,000 communion wafers to make about 7lbs.

The Challah loaf on my counter weighs pretty much exactly a pound, so I used that to measure me, and I am about 6 loaves high and 2 wide, but given I’m a short little gremlin, we’ll assume Bread Jesus was about 7 loaves high, making his mass a total of 14 loaves, or 14 lbs.

Therefore, one Bread Jesus is about 20,000 individual communion wafers ($317.40 if you were going to buy the 20 1000-ct boxes)  I can’t offer nutrition facts on that mass in communion wafers becuase since the nurtitional value of communion wafers is measured in single servings and thefore legally don’t have measureable calories, but 14 loaves of Challah is about 17,920 calories.

HOWEVER, that’s not what this person is asking.  They’ve resumably never heard of the Bread Jesus, and proably want to know how many wafers it takes to consume an Actual Jesus.

So the average height of a Man in Modern Isreal is about 5′9″, but accounting for better nutrition in the modern era, Jesus was probably closer to 5′7″.  The “ideal” male BMI for a 5′7″ man is 135lbs, but given The Dude was suffering from ye olde timey malnutrition and starved prior to his death, I’m gonna ballpark him closer to 120.   
Huh, jesus is smaller than I thought.

(120/7)10,000= 171,429 wafers (rounded up to a whole wafer, you’re not going to be taking halfsies) 
Which would cost about $ 2,720,578.23
and take you 3287.7 years to eat, if you take one wafer a week at communion.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl